It was a Sunday morning. A time in my life when I was renting a small flat with a large studio space below it for me and my young son. I had given myself the goal of building a professional audio / video studio so that 'Producer Me' could enable 'Artist Me' to have a safe place to grow and be recorded.

We went for one year leaving our Brighton seafront apartment. We stayed for ten. It wasn't the best choice.

And I would get overwhelmed working on my own day after day and year after year searching. Hindsight, I should have gone to school, I should have gone back to Brighton, I should have etc etc... And I met some beautiful people and made some lovely friendships and my son had a fabulous Montessori and then Primary School. And we had a view out over Ipswich Marina and I'd sit by the gin palace yachts and have a coffee in the morning. So life wasn't all bad!

Anyway, this morning I needed a church that would simply give me a safe space to sing quietly, not be a celebrity, because I was on prime time Saturday night TV, and find a place to be with God... I didn't want to have to try to be too polite and sorted. Church politeness I can do, what do you do etc.. But. Sometimes I just want to not have to do that.

So we went to a different church for the Sunday Service. Top of the Car Park of our flats was it's location. Nice church welcome, modern building, warehousey.

Band started off with a Rock Song led by a sixteen year old that was a Band Song. Well you might imagine this was not the best for my readiness to commune quietly with my God and seek to be put back together.

It was not a congregational worship song. It was not fit for purpose. The band leader was a relation of one of the church leaders and had been unleashed. As I write this many years later I think today, I would simply walk to the front and unplug their mikes. Stop it!

Now I've been in church bands. I've seen how band leaders are sensitive to leading us from a busy week to a place of reflection and then praise. And how their egos, as leaders, are the last thing to feature, yet excellence was the norm. And I've been there when the band is singing the chorus for the eightieth time and the first two rows still manfully and woman fully sing along everyone else praying they stop and we can move on. And God help you if you criticise the music or artistic director... (I never played in one of those bands, thank goodness).

So I stood up and walked out, left my wife and young son.

I went around the corner to a park. Ipswich is on the East Coast of England and has the most area of parklands of any city in England I once read. They are wonderful. It was a beautiful blue skied day and I sat on a Park Bench looking over an English view that Constable, a famous English landscape painter, once captured. That view was a stone throw from where our still born son was laid to rest with a tree planted in his honour up the hill.

And a lady walked past I hardly knew but who played piano occasionally at a little Church of England Church we'd normally go to. My friend normally played the piano there and asked her to help at times. She wouldn't play if he was there! I imagined he was playing that morning and she was enjoying the scenery like me. We had a little smile of hello.

And I was in church. A magnificent English vista in the spring. God's creation. And this song came.

I needed a Gentle Love Song...

RECORDING A while later we had moved to Canada to emigrate. I went to the studio of Bob Gabelhouse just outside Kelowna where I have lived a while. I had no idea that what I was touching was a dream team of talent to make this track. I regret not having understood that. It was too early for me.

The work that Bob did and the artists on this record contributed was a joy to see and hear. I gave Bob a guide track and he captured the soft echo sound I love.

My voice had not developed nor my guitar back then. One of the reasons this track has languished, as have so many others over the twenty five years I've been developing my skills around songs...

But I love the song and the recording and (whilst I was not who I am today as a performer) I think it's OK to share.

I didn't realise it but Bob guided me to be a Co-Producer with him. We got some magic moments together in my opinion.

I hope you enjoy the song. If you know of Eric Satie and Gymnopedie - which I Ice Danced too - there is a motif that Neville added that - for a moment - gives a glimpse of that beautiful sound Satie captured in refection of the lyrics. A moment of magic for me in the song we created.

Enjoy - NICKSTIR

Written: Words and Music: © 2012 - Recorded: 2019

NICKSTIR: writer, vocals, acoustic guitar Lonnie Moger: acoustic guitar Neville Bowman: piano, strings (Eric Satie moment :)) Bernie Eddington: bass Scotty Gamble: drums Co-Produced, recorded, mixed & mastered by Bob Gabelhouse at Big Audio Productions, Kelowna, Canada Co-Produced - NICKSTIR

Photo: © 2015 Christiane Slater - christianeslater.ca © 2020 LID OFF THE BOX ENTERTAINMENT Production

CREDITS NICKSTIR: vocals, (Some) acoustic guitar - nickstir.com Lonnie Moger: acoustic guitar - sillyaftermidnight@hotmail.com Neville Bowman: piano, strings - bowmanjazz@gmail.com Bernie Eddington: bass - bernieaddington@shaw.ca Scotty Gamble: drums - scotty@scottygamble.com

Co-Produced, recorded, mixed & mastered by Bob Gabelhouse at Big Audio Productions Kelowna, http://www.bigaudioproductions.com

Co-Produced: NICKSTIR Words and Music © Copyright2016 - NICKSTIR - Socan 8601895, ASCAP